The Second Surrender: Interwoven Step and Tradition Work for Emotional Sobriety

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The Second Surrender: Interwoven Step and Tradition Work for Emotional Sobriety

Note from the Editor: The following article was submitted by Daniel T. from the “Emotional Sobriety” meeting in Paris, France. It has been condensed for purposes of this newsletter; however, you can obtain the full workbook document, and audio from the links at the end of this posting.

-THE SECOND SURRENDER-

Interwoven Step and Tradition Work for Emotional Sobriety

At the end of the 12th Step in the 12&12, in the last paragraph, it speaks of the “WE” version of the Serenity Prayer as follows:

“With each passing day of our lives, may every one of us sense more deeply the inner meaning of A.A.’s simple prayer:

God grant US the serenity to accept the things WE cannot change,
The courage to change the things WE can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.”

On the following page we have the Traditions, where the first paragraph begins with:

“The unity of A.A. is the most cherished quality our Society has. Our lives, and the lives of all to come, depend squarely upon it. Without unity, the heart of A.A. would cease to beat; our world arteries would no longer carry the life-giving grace of God.”

The bridge between our personal recovery and the Unity of our Fellowship is contained within the “WE” version of the Serenity prayer. It is also the bridge from the Steps to the Traditions. This is where we stand today. At the turning point. The mystery of the Serenity prayer is that it addresses the three basic needs of the human being. Willing, feeling and thinking. Willingness is developed through the Steps. We step with our feet and this corresponds to the will to act. Step comes from the word ‘staple’ which means ”the base”. This is where we begin.

The Traditions correspond to the heart. The word Tradition comes from the Latin word “to transmit, to bring over, to carry, to hand down”. These are the actions, or one could say, the Steps in Action. Action is associated with the hands and the arms, how we hold hands together as a group is one example. This connects us to the heartbeat of our program, as was quoted earlier that without the Unity from our Traditions the heart of AA would cease to beat.

Finally, we have the Concepts, which come from the Latin word meaning “to conceive, to receive from above”. This is the furthering of our wisdom and how we may birth this divine structure into the World at large (conception).

God grant US the serenity to accept the things WE cannot change
This is how we position ourselves; our acceptance; our Steps; our willingness; our vertical act of standing up while being right-sized; the limits of the masculine principle; the triangle; the stillness in front of the things we cannot change; the restored body which has become willing again. This is our experience.

The courage to change the things WE can
This is about the heart, the emotions, and of action. The heart and breath being fully active for the entirety of our life; the Traditions; the horizontal reaching out to others; the feminine principle; the circle; the motions that are needed to change the things we can; the soul; the restored heart which is able to feel again. This is our strength.

And the wisdom to know the difference.
This is about Integration. The Wisdom, the joining of the horizontal and the vertical; the feminine and the masculine; the Steps and the Traditions; the self and the others; the circle and the triangle; the Concepts branching out into the World; the restored thinking of the clear mind; the Spirit. This is our Hope.

In other words: Body, Soul and Spirit. Willing, Feeling,Thinking. Physical, Emotional, and Spiritual. Experience, Strength and Hope. All United by the guidance of the heart: The Traditions.

The Traditions saved AA from the fate of all those who came before it.

When Bill Wilson was asked why he wrote the 12&12 he said it was to keep AA from becoming rigid. When asked to speak in AA, he was told on occasion not to speak about the Traditions. That resistance is still here today. I believe it is a resistance to a deeper level of recovery in our relationships and in AA as a whole. The warmth of the heart, of human relationships, as guided by our Traditions, melts away our rigidity.

Will we, as a fellowship, move beyond our personal recovery and into a more abundant relationship with others? Will we, as a fellowship, move from separation to intimacy? In order to stay in the solution, we, (the group conscience of the Emotional Sobriety meeting on Sundays in Paris) have developed an anonymous, 5 page workbook entitled “The Second Surrender – Interwoven Step and Tradition Work”, only adding to, but never taking away from our tried and true AA solutions. This way of interweaving the two has been a solution for a few of us so far. We have been testing the questions in our French and English meetings. Anyone who would like to get started on the path of Emotional Sobriety, they may be useful to you. Our solutions, even though they are working for us, are not perfect and so any contributions you may have could help us to make it better. Your participation is much appreciated.

If you are already working the Steps, the Traditions questions can be used in a shorter dynamic. They may be used by ready newcomers as well. They were written for three reasons:

1. To bring the Traditions closer to the center of AA, closer to the many alcoholics who are suffering from a lack of intimacy in their relationships. When we work the Steps they change our lives, the same is true for the Traditions. More is being revealed.
2. To interweave the Steps and the Traditions, showing how they are connected to each other following the powerful experience a few of us have had in working this way. This integration of the two works on the individual and his or her relationships at the same time.
3. To bring about the possibility of working the Traditions through co-sponsorship. Reading our responses to each other after having answered the same questions, like mirrors.

(We have listed only one question for each (out of 7) to save space for this article. The full list of questions can be found in the document link at the end of this posting.)

Step 1 Make a “resistance list” of ideas which keep me from fully embracing Step 1, including how I use avoidance, control, rebellion or playing the victim to avoid change.
Tradition 1 Am I willing to see that my own personal recovery is dependent on the level of Unity within our group or fellowship? How are the two related?

Step 2 Is it difficult for me to really trust in my Higher Power? How does my childhood relate to this (parents, role models, authority figures)?
Tradition 2 Why is it important that God, or Higher Power, be loving? How do I learn to trust God? How do I learn to trust the group conscience?

Step 3 In order to be free and to have a deeper connection with my Higher Power, am I willing to face some of the pushed down pain of my past and childhood? Am I ready to say this prayer, knowing that God’s care is there for me?
Tradition 3 How can I apply the spirit of open membership to other areas of my life?

Step 4 If we use the 4th Step to slather ourselves with shame, how can this feed our disease? How can we cultivate a more neutral ‘observer perspective’ as we do our inventory?
Tradition 4 What does it mean to believe in a group or a person enough to embrace their free will? As a partner? As a sponsor?

Step 5 What is the relationship between “admitting to ourselves” and forgiveness?
Tradition 5 What does it mean to you “I can’t keep it unless I give it away”?

Step 6 Ask 5 AA trusted servants which defects have been removed from their lives and list them here. How does the experience, strength, and hope of others help us to prepare for Step 6?
Tradition 6 How can authority divert us from our primary purpose? Do I believe that my time in the program gives me authority over others?

Step 7 Am I ready to give some of my emotional life to God? How do I feel about this?
Tradition 7 How can it hurt a meeting, or the fellowship, if the same people are always doing service?

Step 8 Why is it important to forgive ourselves before making amends?
Tradition 8 How can playing the expert keep intimacy out of our relationships?

Step 9 How does listening help me in Step 9? Do I impose my amends on others or do I respect their timing? How does prudence help us to have a richer experience with these unique opportunities to heal the past?
Tradition 9 Why should we avoid cliques in AA?

Step 10 From newcomer to old timer, can my desire to maintain appearances keep me from deeper levels of recovery? Explain.
Tradition 10 How can political or religious debates get in the way of our primary purpose? Can a conversation, even about AA, get political?

Step 11 How does “praying only for knowledge of His will for us” help us to be receptive? How does it help us to focus our lives?
Tradition 11 What is the relationship between working the Steps and Traditions, and how that attracts others?

Step 12 How has the structure of the 12 Steps and 12 Traditions helped me to grow in understanding and effectiveness?
Tradition 12 What is the relationship between Tradition 12 and Step 12? Why must we be ever reminded?

Second_Surrender-Daniel_T_Paris_France_2013 (document)
The_Heart_of_our_Traditions-Daniel_T_AA_Paris_France_2013 (audio file)