This Too Shall Pass


In my early days of sobriety, when I was desperate for sobriety and was beset with problems and bedevilments arising from my past, my cry would be “Why is this happening to me? When will this ever stop?” The usual reply from older and wiser AA’s would be “This too shall pass!”

Gradually, with the help and support of the AA programme, my Higher Power, my sponsor and other AA members, I began to say “Life is great!” The usual reply from older and wiser AA’s would be “This too shall pass!”

This year has not been great for me and my family. My son’s 18-year-old girlfriend was killed in a fire at the beginning of January, and my son was hurt in the fire, too. My daughter, who has had an ongoing serious medical condition that was being fairly well managed, has had a return of it out of the blue. I, myself had some problems with my leg. My doctor and I thought I might lose it. I was back saying, “Why is this happening to me? When will this ever stop?” I know the reply today. It’s in my head. “This too shall pass!”

But when I get into that mode, everything that looks like it can go wrong, does go wrong in my warped victim thinking. I need to get me out of me. What has kept me sober and attached to this wonderful Fellowship and a God of my understanding has been the service I try to do, first for me, and for the still suffering alcoholic by carrying the AA message of hope.

Today, my son is still very much grieving and trying to make some sense of what has happened. He has the support of his family and good friends. My daughter is coping with her illness and seeking help to minimise its effect and impact on her life.

I was at my doctor’s earlier this week, and my leg’s recovery is nothing short of a miracle. Still have a little way to go, but getting there gradually. “This too is passing!”  Maybe it was my turn to get stuff dropped on me from a great height?

When I can take me out of me, think of others and work the programme to the best of my ability, life is a breeze. These two quotes from one of my favourite stories in the Big Book have helped me more than a few times over my time in AA:

“Perhaps the best thing of all for me is to remember that my serenity is inversely proportional to my expectations. The higher my expectations of…other people are, the lower is my serenity. I can watch my serenity level rise when I discard my expectations.”

“I must keep my magic magnifying mind on my acceptance and off my expectations, for my serenity is directly proportional to my level of acceptance. When I remember this, I can see I’ve never had it so good. Thank God for A.A.!” (p.420)

 

God bless and thank you all,

Wullie I