Eight—Alcoholics Anonymous should remain forever nonprofessional. We define professionalism as the occupation of counseling alcoholics for fees or hire. But we may employ alcoholics where they are going to perform those services for which we might otherwise have to engage nonalcoholics. Such special services may be well recompensed. But our usual A.A. Twelfth Step work is never to be paid for.
During the Covid lockdowns, here in Israel, there was a huge influx of newcomers. Suddenly, people who had never attended a live A.A. meeting showed up on zoom. They were urged to find a sponsor by getting phone numbers on the chat. Many did and worked the steps with someone with whom they’d never shaken hands or drunk a cup of coffee.
Newcomer Nick, a retiree, had a therapist who sent him to A.A. When advised to work the steps he hired a “Coach.” He paid this man, who was a member in good standing of another 12-step fellowship (a fellowship which utilized both the steps and traditions of A.A.), to guide him. I was livid! Nick didn’t know better, but the “Coach?” Boy, did I want to give him a piece of my mind.
So, what did I do? Nothing. It was not my job to correct Nick or the coach. Oh, it rankled! I wanted to make a citizen’s arrest and throw the wise guy in jail – and to rescue the hapless newcomer. It was like watching a tourist being charged for tap water! Nick stayed sober and has now attended many a Tradition Eight meeting. He never brought up the subject – and neither have I.
I apply this tradition to my family life. My kids were always expected to do chores. No one paid me for cooking and cleaning; I didn’t pay them for cleaning their rooms and taking out the trash. If I needed a plumber, I’d hire one – because none of my children was a plumber. Recently, however, my daughter married a plumber. When he installed a new shower for me, I gladly paid him; it was a professional skill and he is a professional. However, when he tightened a leaky faucet (which only took a minute) he insisted that there was no charge because any idiot (other than me) could do this.
A.A. Israel has a wonderful translator who could charge us, and we’d be happy to pay him, but despite our offers he chooses to volunteer this skill, and that’s fine. We can pay him; we don’t have to. We do pay our lawyer, our web designer and our accountant, some are A.A. members, some not.
I will do things for free that you couldn’t pay me to do; sponsoring is one of them. Babysitting six grandchildren at once is another. The reasons are similar. Sponsees and grandchildren know that I love them and am giving them my all. They also know not to mess with me when I set boundaries. ‘Do your step-work and call me back,’ and ‘brush your teeth and get your pajamas on,’ are both suggestions – but if you keep suffering or go to bed in your sneakers, well, it’s not my problem. I answer neither to the former nor the parents of the latter; after all, my paycheck comes from a Higher Authority.
– Sara-Rivka