Prague, Czech Republic, 2024
The twelfth tradition of Alcoholics Anonymous emphasizes the principle of anonymity as a foundation for personal humility and collective unity. This month, a member remembers how as a young person they once sought fame and recognition, only to find fulfillment and purpose through the anonymity and principles of AA.Ā
Twelve-And finally, we of Alcoholics Anonymous believe that the principle of anonymity has an immense spiritual significance. It reminds us that we are to place principles before personalities; that we are actually to practice a genuine humility. This to the end that our great blessings may never spoil us; that we shall forever live in thankful contemplation of Him who presides over us.
As a young person, I idolized famous people. My bedroom walls looked like shrines to celebrities. I talked about my favorites a lot.
They were often talented and usually beautiful, but most importantly to me, they were known. Notoriety, it seemed, carried clout in western culture and I wanted in on that.
I made fleeting and foolish attempts at carving out fame for myself in my teens and twenties, desperate to fill myself up with adoration, applause and an audience. The sum total of these attempts were bitter disappointment and an addiction to alcoholism so overwhelming I found myself in Alcoholics Anonymous.
If the alcoholic part of our name caused me discomfort, the anonymity part offered some relief. I was grateful to learn that nobody could tell others that I had attended meetings. Nobody would ‘out’ me as an alcoholic. I learned that we were bound by the spirit of anonymity, and this helps to protect us against the stress and pressure of being well-known. Phew!
Miraculously, I got sober in AA rather quickly. My life transformed in that first year to a remarkable degree. People noticed. I enjoyed being noticed.
A thought occurred to me that perhaps it would be a Very Great Idea if I spread the word of Alcoholics Anonymous as some sort of glittery representative. Think of how many people I could help, if only I had a stage! Sane counsel directed me to the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, and the 70 years of experience that AA had about anonymity before I even stumbled into my first meeting.
Recovery requires humility, and humility is found in anonymity, not in neon lights. With God, I have no name and no status; I simply serve. Under these conditions, I have uncovered usefulness, helpfulness and hopefulness. I shake hands with acceptance on a daily basis. I dance with joy frequently. I don’t want to drink.
And I know that these gifts of recovery are all up for grabs, if I choose notoriety over sobriety, or idol worship over performing God’s work well.
Who I see and what I hear in the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous, I let stay there.
āĀ Rawiri J.